Emotional Diarrhea

Sunday, March 23, 2008

2008-03-23T20:47:00.001-04:00

For fear of getting cited, I slyly flipped off the President as his motorcade impeded my run.

VMA

2007-09-09T23:07:00.000-04:00

Terrible. This was all terrible. It was this little ball of potential that could have been so much, instead it went up in flames. I just texted my sister to see if she was going to watch so that I can find out if I am that severely out of touch with what is hip with youngsters today. Unfortunately she cannot watch as she has an essay to write. Clearly she is much smarter than I.

VMA

2007-09-09T23:03:00.000-04:00

I have never heard this Nelly Furtado song, but apparently my former roommate, Snarky Behavior (Jon) does, as it is on his top 10 songs of all time list.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:53:00.000-04:00

Wait... was there a real fight? Did Pam Anderson cause it? Oh man! Kid Rock and Tommy Lee -- always getting into trouble. So few details!

VMA

2007-09-09T22:48:00.000-04:00

Miss South Carolina Teen USA!!! I am pretty sure the MTV producers just handed the show over to a room full of monkeys (and not the smart ones who know sign language, but the ones who throw feces at small children at the zoo), fed them pixie sticks and let it ride. I am glad I have not defended MTV's actions for years (or maybe months).

VMA

2007-09-09T22:41:00.000-04:00

Well played Jamie Foxx, well played. He must have been drinking more than I have. Well played.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:39:00.001-04:00

Kanye! Again! I am unclear as to whether he has been performing throughout or whether this was all taped last night and they have just been showing highlights.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:36:00.001-04:00

Who set up the seating chart? I am pretty sure shotgun weddings have more thought put into them. Is DMB taking pictures? Was P Diddy staring at Alicia's ass throughout the performance? At least there is liquor for folks in the audience too.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:34:00.001-04:00

Alicia Keys - a lot of respect for actually singing live. Not a lot of respect for this outfit, particularly the hair, it seems like she took some notes from Flashdance, Diana Ross or Beyonce with the knit skull cap in DreamGirls. Unfortunately she did not note that none of them looked so hot.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

Who okayed the hotel parties? This seems like a terrible idea on many levels:

1) None of the camera angles are appealing
2) Everything seems hot and sweaty
3) The extras are all ancient and/or tore up in general (see previous post)
4) Do they have to clear out the rooms all around it?
5) A thought -- maybe they chose the less attractive extras because they figured they would be more respectful of the rooms so that there would be less clean up drama.
6) How pissed would you be if you were in a band that didn't get a good intro or get to make it on the main stage when Britney was able to cavort around in a stupor?

VMA

2007-09-09T22:27:00.000-04:00

We are unclear as to who chose the extras to watch the musical performances in the hotel rooms. So far there seems to be no scruples as to who makes it in, we've seen an old Jewish women, some man who looks like the love child of the Nelson Twins and Iggy Pop (not wearing a shirt) and some TORE UP third-tier sorority chicks. Where have you gone MTV? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:24:00.000-04:00

Why did I have no idea that someone did a cover of "We're not dancin' with our clothes off"?! I am so not hip anymore.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:11:00.000-04:00

Linkin Park. What a let down.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:08:00.000-04:00

Pamela Anderson: Still relevant after all these years.

VMA

2007-09-09T22:01:00.001-04:00

REALITY OF LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:57:00.000-04:00

Justin is so fab. I wish he had mentioned The Hills even though they were standing right behind him.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:56:00.001-04:00

This is the point of the evening when Emily and I found it necessary to open the bottle of wine to make things go more smoothly. Stay Tuned

VMA

2007-09-09T21:53:00.002-04:00

Sensory overload! Kelly Sweet, Miriamm (two Ms on purpose) What is going on in the world?

VMA

2007-09-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

That mix of songs was admittedly bizarre and random, but I still love Chris Brown. The VMAs as an entity/must-watch-event -- not so much love anymore.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:46:00.000-04:00

Rihanna and Chris Brown's fancey footwork: THIS is what I expect and love from the VMAs.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:43:00.000-04:00

I love Chris Brown. Kids dancing can always fix things.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:37:00.000-04:00

I am starting to figure out what is going on here. It was sort of like when I watched Vanilla Sky and wasn't really sure what as going on the whole time and then I figured out what had gone on the whole time and I wanted to shoot myself for sitting through it all. That is what is going on here.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:36:00.000-04:00

I find the thick lady dancing behind Maroon 5 more appealing than what has gone on the whole show thus far.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:34:00.000-04:00

Why do they keep making up new awards? And how did Beyonce just beat JT? Why is she wearing something I would see on a statue in Greece? Good call on the titty tape, otherwise I am sure we would have seen full nip on this one.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:33:00.000-04:00

Kanye and Fiddy. Holla.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:32:00.000-04:00

This blog attempt may be interrupted because Rock of Love is far too appealing to my VMA viewing compatriots. This is why we need DVR and why MTV needs to FRICKING GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER!

VMA

2007-09-09T21:25:00.000-04:00

What is the reasoning for all of this? Do they think that the core audience (which I will cede is now far younger than I) has little to no attention span? I feel like I need to pour adderall into the tap water if this is the future.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:24:00.000-04:00

Quadruple Threat?! What the fuck is this? Why are you killing yourself MTV? Thank you for the "Play More Videos" shoutout, Justin.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:21:00.000-04:00

I still fail to see the appeal of Robin Thicke, I would be much more excited to see Alan Thicke (Jason Seaver -- what, what!)

VMA

2007-09-09T21:19:00.000-04:00

Is this going to be Kanye's only performance? Was this actually done last night? Why the sunglasses? Why did Kanye agree to this when 50 cent got to sit front row and be the Jack Nicholson of the VMAs?

VMA

2007-09-09T21:15:00.000-04:00

"Oh My God! Britney! I AM STILL NOT OVER IT! I can dance better than that!" - Jazzercise Instructor Emily

VMA

2007-09-09T21:13:00.000-04:00

Dear MTV,

Please give the award winners a podium to set their statuette on, the juggling/balancing act Rihanna performed was 10 kinds of awkward.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

The awards nominee announcement format may cause me to have a seizure by the end of the evening.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:09:00.000-04:00

The VMAs can never be in Vegas again. They are no Golden Globes (aka the only awards show that can pull off round tables next to the stage). What are all of these "themed" rooms?

VMA

2007-09-09T21:06:00.000-04:00

This diarrhea excuse Sarah Silverman is discussing is exactly the same lie my mom told me to tell the office ladies in high school if I was ever tardy.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:05:00.001-04:00

Dear Sarah Silverman,

I love you, but this is making it more and more terrible... and also mildly awesome.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:02:00.000-04:00

Current Debate:

What drug is she on: Valium, weed, oh no... Poor, Poor Britney.

VMA

2007-09-09T21:00:00.000-04:00

Why isn't she dancing? Is she on dope? Why is Bonnie Hunt dancing? Ahhhh!!

VMA

2007-09-09T20:59:00.000-04:00

I am unsure what I am more excited for: a 3 hour break from John Norris or Britney -- who am I kidding - BRITNEY!!?

VMA

2007-09-09T20:57:00.000-04:00

I love Foo Fighters and Pharell but again -- not John Norris.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:54:00.000-04:00

Britney's best VMA performance:

I'm a Slave 4 U - 2
Oops I did it again - 1
Madonna Makeout - 1

VMA

2007-09-09T20:53:00.000-04:00

Who is this Aussie -- he looks like a cheap knockoff of Simon Rex. Proof that nudie pics/movies can really change things -- are you listening Vanessa Hudgens?

VMA

2007-09-09T20:51:00.000-04:00

John Norris: still creeping me out.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:47:00.000-04:00

"I've been working on these philanthropists" Oh Paris -- you are still a whore.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:46:00.001-04:00

Dear MTV,

Please stop mentioning how fun/crazy it is in Vegas for the VMAs, the awkward nods and agreements should indicate that clearly no one agrees with you.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:43:00.000-04:00

"It's purely a marketing scheme on my part," "It's the greatest day in music history" (re: his and 50 cents' release date) I love you Kanye.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:42:00.001-04:00

Why does it seem like every female is trying to rock the June Cleaver hairdo - Mary J, Nelly Furtado, Paris (and all blonde -- I am certain none of those drapes match those carpets).

VMA

2007-09-09T20:39:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of respect for the way Suchin Pak and John Norris skirted around the terribleness that was the Pussycat Dolls chick's TERRIBLE performance.

VMA

2007-09-09T20:38:00.001-04:00

Who is John Norris trying to be, some bastard child of Harry Potter and Roddy McDowell from A Clockwork Orange?

September 9, 2007: VMA Live Blog

2007-09-09T20:37:00.001-04:00

I have decided to do a live blog of the VMAs as I watch.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

2007-08-06T18:24:00.000-04:00

I spent 10 minutes searching for a picture of a tetrahedron.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

2007-08-05T17:50:00.000-04:00

I drank pitchers of mojitos out of a Brita filter while playing Old Maid.

Friday, August 3, 2007

2007-08-04T12:40:00.001-04:00

I interviewed a woman who informed us that the most important thing she could do for her 2 year-old grandson was "Pray with him."

Thursday, August 2, 2007

2007-08-04T12:38:00.001-04:00

I watched Hairspray with captions in the theater.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

2007-08-04T12:38:00.000-04:00

I watched Hairspray with captions in the theater.

August 1, 2007

2007-08-02T00:00:00.000-04:00

On the first anniversary of the creation of this blog, I toyed with the idea of bringing it back.

Friday, March 2, 2007

2007-03-04T23:55:00.000-05:00

I walked all over NW and took a mini driving tour of SE.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

2007-03-04T23:52:00.000-05:00

I got a new computer, ate a steak, saw a ballet and watched a basketball game.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

2007-03-04T22:55:00.000-05:00

Jon and I returned a keg shell in a Mini Cooper.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

2007-03-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

I went to trivia night in workout garb.

Monday, February 26, 2007

2007-03-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

I booked my ticket to Boston.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

2007-03-04T22:43:00.000-05:00

I heavily cleaned the apartment and watched the Oscars with Michael and Al.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

2007-03-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

I wore footie pajamas and a picture of Anna Nicole around my neck.

Friday, February 23, 2007

2007-02-24T03:03:00.001-05:00

I took the GRE then bought TP.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

2007-02-24T03:02:00.000-05:00

I had extensive discussions with General Contractors, then I studied for the GRE.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

2007-02-24T03:01:00.000-05:00

Al and I went to IKEA again, then I fell asleep while studying for the GRE.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

2007-02-24T02:36:00.000-05:00

I studied for the GREs and ate Pad Thai.

Monday, February 19, 2007

2007-02-24T02:35:00.000-05:00

I watched all of Season 2 of Arrested Development as I assembled oodles of IKEA furniture.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

2007-02-24T02:34:00.000-05:00

Al and I went to IKEA again.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

2007-02-24T02:33:00.000-05:00

Michael, Al, Cashew and I had a photo session at IKEA on a round bed.

Friday, February 16, 2007

2007-02-24T02:31:00.000-05:00

I was overwhelmed by the non snow day and left work early.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

2007-02-24T02:25:00.000-05:00

Michael and I attempted to further our understanding of the 60s sexual revolution by watching Shampoo and drinking wine.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

2007-02-24T02:24:00.000-05:00

Before Al broke her arm, we saw the guy who upsold her on guac at Chipotle while at Commonshare.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

2007-02-17T00:23:00.001-05:00

Because I was too cheap and lazy to check my coat, I had to walk home in a beer-soaked jacket.

Monday, February 12, 2007

2007-02-16T17:28:00.002-05:00

We spotted an abandonded dime bag stuffed with weed on our way back from a lunch meeting.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

2007-02-16T17:28:00.001-05:00

Michael and I got mani/pedis.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

2007-02-16T17:18:00.000-05:00

After being gently touched by the cashier at the gayest 7-11 in the district, Andrew and I ran home.

Friday, February 9, 2007

2007-02-11T23:41:00.000-05:00

I served burgers to a table with an old man in a black curly wig and two Latin men with flowing tresses longer than their female friend.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

2007-02-11T23:40:00.000-05:00

Andrew and I ate a large platter of Greek Food then watched King Lear.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

2007-02-11T18:57:00.000-05:00

I watched The Wire with Tessa and Faraj.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

2007-02-11T18:35:00.000-05:00

I participated in my first Gayme (gay board game) night.

Monday, February 5, 2007

2007-02-11T11:12:00.000-05:00

I took a practice GRE.

Sunday, February 4, 2007

2007-02-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

I marveled at Prince's halftime show as I shoveled more Frito Pie in my mouth.

Saturday, February 3, 2007

2007-02-07T22:56:00.000-05:00

I had to pull the bouncers off of Al and Kenny after their play fight at Chi Cha Lounge.

Friday, Februrary 2, 2007

2007-02-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

I saw Barack Obama speak!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

2007-02-02T17:03:00.000-05:00

I took a tour of one of our potential new school sites!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

2007-02-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

I found myself forced to reacclimate to near freezing temperatures.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

2007-02-02T17:00:00.000-05:00

Shortly before walking the length of Miami airport, I had a mormon missionary returning from Ecuador recognize me from high school.

Monday, January 29, 2007

2007-02-02T16:59:00.000-05:00

I drank 3 Fat Tuesdays then watched Mike Ditka walk by shortly after I watched a man swallow a lit cigarette.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

2007-02-02T16:58:00.000-05:00

I ran a marathon, drank a Fat Tuesday and was served bacon bit ice cream by an Oompa Loompa at the Versace Mansion.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

2007-02-02T16:57:00.002-05:00

I continued my habit of buying cold weather gear in warm climates then I did detail work on Michael's haircut.

Friday, January 26, 2007

2007-02-02T16:57:00.001-05:00

I landed in Miami and ate a dinner of sour patch kids, vitamin water and honey wheat pretzels.

Thursday, January 25, 2006

2007-02-02T16:56:00.000-05:00

I faced the frigid cold to watch UCLA beat Cal at the Cal bar -- where Jon and I were the only ones watching TV.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

2007-02-02T16:55:00.000-05:00

I bought fresh chicken at the store for the first time in recent memory.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

2007-01-23T23:42:00.000-05:00

I awkwardly laughed as a 4 year old tossed up something akin to a gang sign while he stated his name.

Monday, January 22, 2007

2007-01-23T23:41:00.000-05:00

Anne and I laughed at a man wearing a ripped shirt for a good ten minutes.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

2007-01-23T23:40:00.000-05:00

I woke up to discover a 7-11 bag on my floor containing cashews, lemon orbitz gum and a stuffed Siberian tiger.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

2007-01-23T23:38:00.001-05:00

I ran my last group marathon training run and later punched my thumb through about 7 different beer cans.

Friday, January 19, 2007

2007-01-23T23:23:00.000-05:00

I listened to Kerron explain why the NFL is rigged just like the WWF.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

2007-01-23T23:18:00.000-05:00

I awkwardly got ready for work as Jon's visiting friend continued to talk about how she only attracted wholesome boys.